Tagged feelings

Chasing my N[art] to Denver! Zzzzz

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Yesterday, I tried to get out of bed.. I could not. My body felt like the pit of despair. Quickly, I ran through my reasons to be grateful. I read the poem my Nan gave me. It’s posted at the head of my bed.

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Suddenly, my eyes became cloudy. Tears running down my cheeks. The feeling of hope and determination surfaces. I put my headphones on and listen to my morning music.. I message Kendall and my mum to tell them what’s going on. I send them my crying face photo. I talked about my feelings and then my day started like any other day.

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Relationship Limelight: Communicate or run and hide?

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A normal Monday. Out to run errands with two of my favourite people #MasterGabriel and my queen Kendall Patrick. For those of you who might be new to reading my blog.

Gabriel is a 17 year old boy that Kendall and I look after. He is a saint in my book and we are very fortunate to have his youthful innocence in our lives.

After breakfast we make a plan to run errands downtown and roughly plan our meals for the week. I was waiting on the couch for Kendall and Gabriel to get ready.

And then it happened…
Kendall walked out of her room wearing shorts with a bit of her under bum showing?!

I then made the grave error of declaring an ultimatum.. If you don’t change those shorts than I am not leaving the house with you. I didn’t explain why. I became visibly upset (emotionally shutdown) and retreated to the bedroom.

Buzz buzz notification: Kendall has a new status update on Facebook. Suddenly my heart sank.. How could she broadcast our 25 second interaction already other than to portray the controlling chauvinistic boyfriend. The singer-songwriter heroine in her needed to broadcast her displeasure and revolt. Kendall has a 70 Klout score.. Which means her social media reach is extensive. Everything that she posts gets attention/ engagement. She is an indie/folk/pop star with a growing following.

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Was I being a controlling pig? You might think so.. My intention was to delicately look out for my partners integrity. My part in failing to communicate with her precisely why she needed to change. Instead I gave an ultimatum and shutdown emotionally. Epic failure.

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I wanted to pull the sheets over my head and hide for the rest of the day. 60 seconds later I walked out waving the white flag. I acknowledged that I failed to communicate because I was shocked and also that I didn’t want to mention that the shorts that were once baggy in the bum are now full with some under bum hanging out.

She looked at me and after a little more debate acknowledged that there has been some physical blossoming happening. She happily changed and gave me a kiss.

She promptly changed her post:

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